Tomorrow is the day, the day the dreaded two week wait is finally over. But why would I not want it to be over? I should be thrilled to finally find out if Clomid cycle number 2 worked but, I'm not.
During the two week wait, you unintentionally build yourself up. You think about names and think about events that might come up if you're pregnant, you think about announcing it and maybe even nursery colors. All these build in your head. Then, you take that test and see it... BFN. All those dreams come crashing down and the sadness takes over. I'm scared that's going to happen to me... Again.
I'm tired of that being me. I'm tired of the one line pregnancy tests and the "not pregnant" digital tests. I have taken so many of those tests over the past year. The worst ones, I will admit, were when I was unaware of the PCOS and I was having 50 day cycles and testing every other day.
I have tried to remain positive during this two week wait. I've not over analyzed any symptoms and I've tried to post a positive quote every day. I've been trying not to get my hopes up for tomorrow and be ready for the one line, the one pink line I have seen so many times before. With all of that, there is still this little piece of me that's says "this is the cycle! This is it!"
Fingers crossed for the morning! I hope my grandmother is watching over me and telling me that this is the time.
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