Gettin' busy!

So apparently my body responds well to the femara! Today was my CD11 egg scan and I had one follicle that was 21cm on the right as well as another smaller one on that side. He didn't even check the left side because he said he had enough information! Lol! 

I was prescribed the Ovidrel to trigger at 8pm tonight and then progesterone suppositories to start on Wednesday and take everyday until I test. I can test on 10/14. 

I don't plan to test early, I'm going to try and be patient. I can't symptom spot because of the progesterone so, patience it is! Luckily I have a busy two weeks ahead of me! I have a wine festival to go to on the 11th and I plan to taste some wines. I have decided not to put my life on hold for my infertility anymore. I'm going to a football game and going to my wine festival and I won't have any regrets of things I missed out on if I get that negative test, again. 

I will take any and all advice on either the shot or the progesterone because this will be my first time with both! My OB's office would do the shot for me so this is my first time doing it at home. I'm a little nervous about it! 

FX for a quick two weeks! 

The Two Week Wait by Sarah Rayner- Book Review

I originally purchased this book because of my struggles with infertility. The two week wait is a dreadful time and takes so much to get through! I was both pleased and disappointed with this book for many reasons, let's start with why I was pleased. 

The book follows two stories. One of Lou who is a lesbian and has realized that her time to carry a child is quickly dwindling as she ages and after she finds a cyst in her uterus. The other is of Cath and Rich who is a couple who want a child after Cath has had her ovaries removed due to cancer. Both stories intertwine as they find themselves at a conference on IVF and egg donation. I liked how the book conveyed how the characters felt emotionally having to go through such a process as well as the agony of judgement from those around them who didn't quite agree with IVF as it is not a "natural" way to conceive. Towards the end of the book I felt that the characters really had their emotions conveyed through words and anyone who has been through IVF or is going through IVF can really relate to those feelings. 

There were a few things that I wasn't so pleased with.  First of all, since the title is "The Two Week Wait" I totally expected the book to really get into the emotion and agony of the two week wait. This was not the case. Most of the story revolved around the events leading up to or after the two week wait, not the two week wait itself. I was very disappointed when the two week wait seemed to be skipped over with just a small chapter or two. I also was displeased with how they left out a lot of the medical terms and names that go along with infertility. I was kind of hoping to be reading a book related to my world and I didn't really get one. I also has hoped that the couples would have exhausted all options before IVF.  In the scenarios presented, IVF was the only option but, I would have liked to have read a book about a couple, straight or Lesbian, who had struggled with many failed treatments and have those emotions conveyed through words and have that story told to the world since I feel like it is the most common. 

In all, I would give the book 3 out of 5 stars. It was a good storyline, although it moved very slow in what seemed like the wrong places. If you are a lesbian trying to conceive or a couple going through IVF I totally recommend this book to you. I think you will really enjoy it. The book is written by a British author so, as an American there were a few differences in language but I didn't mind that at all. 

On to the next book: "An Abundance of Katherine's" by John Green. 

When life gets in the way...

Well, I haven't blogged in awhile and I didn't review the last book I read. I wanted to, but I couldn't. What's been going on with me? 

For starters I lost one of my dearest and closest friends in a car accident on August 16. He was funny and caring. He would give you a hard time and support the things you loved. He could crack a joke and tell you something serious in the same conversation. I miss him so terribly. It is still a shock to my system and I have had so much trouble processing it. I talked to him that day before he died and I will cherish that conversation forever. Here is a picture of us at my wedding (the other girl was his fiancé). 

While trying to process the loss of my friend I returned to work after a summer off! I am teacher and the first few weeks of school will drive you batty! I feel like I've been running on low battery every single day! 

The death of my friend has also brought out a better relationship with my husband. I think he saw the rut we had hit dealing with infertility (another post on that later) and has done a complete 180. It had been very nice and I'm glad we were able to bring something positive out of all the negativity in my life! 

Speaking of infertility, I'm on CD53 (I think). After some spotting but no AF I was instructed to take my ten days of provera and induce it. I went off of my metformin for about a week and a half basically because of forgetting to take it but now I'm back on it and taking it regularly. When I get AF I will cycle day 3 bloodwork and take Femara on days 5-9 with an ultrasound on CD12. I'm ready to jump back on that wagon! My best friend had her baby and I have made amends with her after not speaking most of her pregnancy. She is being supportive and hopefully our children won't be to far apart in age! 

Well, that is what has been going on with me! 

The dreaded HSG

So you hear the horror stories and you hear the not so horrible stories and you think... What is mine going to be like? 

Well, here is my story... 

An HSG, for those who don't know, is where they insert instruments into your Hoo-Ha and fill it with dye and see if the dye goes through your uterus, through your tubes, and out the other side indicating all is clear. It sounds simple and looking back on it, it didn't take long. It did, however, feel like it would never, ever, end. 

I have been taking my antibiotics as prescribed and I took 800mg of ibuprofen beforehand as instructed. (Note: Do NOT forget the ibuprofen... Do not) My mom drove me to the appointment because instructions asked that I have a driver, also a good idea on my part. After waiting 45 minutes past my appointment time they took me back and this nurse starts blabbing off all the things I need to remember. I still have no idea all of what she said. 

She took me into the room where all these fancy instruments were layed out like I was about to be dissected. I removed the bottom half of my clothes and put my feet into the all to familiar "OBGYN position". 

Now this is where things get a little fuzzy. Maybe I should have taken some shots ahead of time to calm myself. (I mean, who would have known, right?) The doctor kept telling me to relax as she sat in a chair, facing my Hoo-Ha with instruments in her hand. Relax. Right. 

The next few minutes were just pain. Cramping, pain, more cramping, more pain. I think the doctor might have been explaining what she was doing? Who knows. Then all the color drained from my face and the nurse said, I think we should take a break, she doesn't have any color and she's shaking.

Let's give a little background on my tolerance of medical procedures here. Every time I lost a tooth I passed out. Every. Single. Tooth. My first cortisone shot for my shoulder in high school? Bam. Right on the floor. How about the first time I ever had blood taken? You guessed it, I made it to the waiting room and blacked out. I think I made it to a chair that time. You get where I'm going with this. 

So, what do you think happened next? Well in good news, that nurse noticed my distressed and started asking me questions to bring me back to reality, while the other doctor stopped and left her instruments in my Hoo-Ha. After a few minutes of collecting myself to the best of my ability and wet paper towel across my forehead we were able to proceed. 

Luckily soon after that we were done. It still took me five minutes to be able to stand without falling and the nurse insisted upon helping me dress and wheeling, yes wheeling, like in a wheelchair, me out to the waiting room for my mom. Not embarrassing AT ALL. 

In good news, before the doctor scurried out of the room she showed me my pictures and all was clear! My tubes are open and that is great news! 

It's been about four hours and I have some cramping and my Hoo-Ha is very sore. Pain medication is my friend and I intend to lay in bed and read and eat ice cream because any day someone sticks metal instruments in your Hoo-Ha you deserve ice cream. 

For anyone getting and HCG I recommend the pain medication and a driver. If someone tells you it doesn't hurt they are either lying to make you feel better or has the pain tolerance of rock. In good news, it is over rather quickly although it feels like forever! My other suggestion, eat ice cream afterwords just because you deserve it! :) 

A sense of normalcy

Today is CD1 and this was my first non-medicated, ovulatory, cycle. It was almost beautiful except those high temps almost gave me hope I was pregnant! I guess that's what happens when you never have a normal cycle without the use of medication. 

So where do we go from here? 

I started Metformin yesterday. So far the only problem I had was excessive bloating after eating some ice cream. I have been really good about eating healthy but yesterday I made a "cheat day" just to see how the metformin would affect my body in different scenarios to see if I needed to avoid any foods. I had dairy and greasy foods and all ended up okay. I hope today is just as successful while I'm back on my eating healthy ways. I had heard so many side effect horror stories that I was scared but, all was good! 

My HSG is scheduled for next Wednesday with results being read the following Monday. My husband will be out to sea for two weeks at the end of the month so even if I do ovulate he will miss it. (Thanks US Navy!) This will be another non-medicated cycle. I am going to let the metformin get in my system and next cycle I will start femara. Hopefully my HSG comes back okay! I will also keep temp charting just to keep record and hopefully have another "normal" cycle so I don't have to take provera to jump start AF. 

This will be our beginning journey with a fertility specialist instead of my OBGYN. I hope it works this time! 

Dark Places by Gillian Flynn- Book Review

After reading "Gone Girl" by Gillian Flynn I was sucked into her style of writing. I've never been the murder mystery type of person but, her novels are so well written and suspenseful that I just can't help myself from reading more! 

While "Gone Girl" had its twist in the middle, this book waits until the very end for its plot changing twist. I almost liked that better because I knew there was a great twist coming but, I just couldn't figure out when. 

Yet again, with this novel, Flynn wonderfully tells a story through the main characters point of view. It really makes the reader try to peice together what happened while telling several stories at once. 

Dark Places is a story of Libby Day who is trying to get to the bottom of the murder of her mother and sisters when she was young. The character of Libby was generally a little rough at first but, I eventually grew to like her and see she was a survivor above everything. Libby reaches out to her brother Ben after a murders enthusiast group convinces her that he is not the killer and is in jail for no reason. I was not a fan of his character throughout the novel although, I don't feel as if Flynn wanted him to be a character the reader "likes" so to speak. 

As with both of Flynn's books that I have read, I always feel like there could be as sequel. The story could continue into a second book with great ease. I'm not sure if that's intentional but it drives me crazy in a good way! It's one of the things that makes the book great! 

I don't want to get into the plot too deep but, I loved how all the pieces came together for a stunning plot twist at the end. While I had my theories about the ending, none of them were even close to right! 

I would definitely recommend this book for anyone looking to pick up a good read! 

Eating Better- Changing to an Organic Lifestyle!

I wasn't looking for a new "diet fad" or "quick" way to lose weight. I have been overweight my entire life and in knew at 30 with hypothyroidism and PCOS my dreams of being "skinny" were long gone. I also knew that I needed a healthy way of living as my body was not going to cooperate with me shoving pizza and cupcakes in my mouth. 

After some research, I realized how many hormones and "fake" ingredients were put into foods. I started reading labels of things I was eating and I didn't like what I saw. I saw dyes, I saw things I couldn't even pronounce, I saw things I had never even heard of! I decided that I would try to eat a better and organic lifestyle and cut those "fake" ingredients from my diet. It has actually been a lot easier than I thought it would be! 

I decided to start small, with fruit. While not all fruit that I buy is organic, most of it is. Even when it isn't organic, I know it's better for me than say... Doritos. I live in a farming community who has a farmers market every Saturday so most weeks I am able to buy local fruits and vegetables! If not, I usually hit up the local farm stands and they can tell me where it came from. There is also a locally owned organic store in which I can buy some fruits from. 

My next organic action... SWEETS! A girl has to have her chocolate right?! 

I found these and fell in LOVE! They are completely organic and I have found them in Target and Farm Fresh. I can't even eat a Reese's anymore, these are ten times better! Newman's Own also makes a very good dark chocolate peanut butter cup. 

I knew I couldn't go without sweets so, I limit my intake of these but, they are great to fix that sweet tooth! 

My next step with an organic diet was "quick" meals. I'm not a cooker. I'm just not. I try to be, I really do but, it's just not my thing. That's when I found Evol. 

I have found these at Target and Farm Fresh. While they are not completely organic they do use wholesome ingredients and when I read the list I know what the items are. They are delicious and filling! 

My last change is meats. Grass fed, hormone free, meats. These seem to be a little harder to find. Target carries some but it is normally really picked over here! I have been eating more fresh seafood (I live on the coast) this summer but when fall hits I'm really going to have to pay more attention to my meats. 

I have found Applegate meats, which I LOVE! 

I have found these at Target! 

Milk was also an easy change, found at most grocery stores. 

While I have cheated a few times (thanks Chick-Fil-A) I have loved my switch! I feel better and I think it has helped my health! This is month two of a gradual change so, hopefully I will see more results as I continue this lifestyle change!